Indeed there are millions of reasons to make me postpone writing. Postpone will then lead to mood loss and therefore lead to cancellation. And I have to get myself out of that doomed cycle before it's too late.
Well at least today i managed to sit still here and force myself to write.
You know what? Actually this isn't a simple matter to me. 20 minutes ago when I was walking back home alone from the MRT station, I remembered that I need to start writing. Now or Never. I was so frickin dead on serious on starting to write up to the point that I have been starting to think about what should I write when I passed the security guard at the apartment's gate.
I was like,
oh my God oh my God, it's getting nearer and nearer to the lift! What should I write?
As if I didn't start to write, death will come swiftly to me. Wait. Was it a line from Imhotep's sarcophagus? Am I gonna get cursed?
Yeah, so in the middle of panic attack, many thoughts crossed my mind on what to write.
Oh! Should I try automatic writing, like they taught us back then during early foundation days in college?
I remember it was fun tho I remembered vividly that the content of my automatic writing was so surrealistically emo. Yeah, I was WUI (Writing Under Influence) indeed.
Or should I just take shortcut and write something in point form or numbered stuff? Like, "10 Things I would Love To Do, but I Haven't Moved My Ass Ever Since." Or, "Daily Schedule of My Ideal Day." Or stuff like that, you know.
Yeah, I know. That's cheating. You know a captain cannot cheat death!
Sorry, yeah there's a slight chance I am recently a Trekkie. Or, there's an even bigger fatter chance that I'm a 25-year old frickin fangirl.
Yea, SRSLY!!
Enought with the LOLcat grammar. Scotty, beam me back to reality.
Yea, stuffs like that crossed my mind while I was in the frickin lift! Just imagined how much pressure that me and my big mouth put on myself!
Then I finally reached home and decided to write anything that came up my mind.
Well, at least the writing went quite smoothly, although there were indeed moments in the beginning where I repeatedly paused, staring blankly at the screen, and deleting the entire paragraph, regretting it, and retardedly re-type them all again. Oh well, things I do for the sake of a goddamn posting!
Well, I guess this is good enough for the first day. My posting is quite cynical but that doesn't matter! By the end of this posting. I will tell myself, "Hey look! You finally managed to type something out of the blue! Look, a decent posting... if you'd like to call it so!"
Okay, fine. I'm glad at least it turned out rather well. My goal here is to exercise brain-to-finger coordination day by day. I will keep on writing until I got my good ol days back where when I wanted to write a story, I didn't have to burden my mind with anything at all. All I did was simply sat in front of the computer, open MS Word, and after I set the font to 12 Times New Roman double spacing, voila!--my fingers just run like mad on the keyboard and lo, I saw before my very eyes, words came together like a beautifully-sewn piece of quilt. A story told. And the magic is, I don't even know where the hell the story came from. Back then my brain and my fingers--they're really BFFs!! Now I'm trying to bring them back together for a kickass comeback. Sounds like a movie sequel, no?
[11.19] ahh. i couldn't believe i did it! yea, i'm a brave president! :p
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